Archive for October, 2010

TSA Authorizes Full Front-of-Hand Ball Sack Massages To Every Air Traveler

October 30, 2010

“They patted this one guy down for, like, ten or fifteen minutes,” said Jeremy Fisher. “God, it took him forever to ejaculate. Do you know what that does to the lines??

Posted in Enhanced Pat-Downs, Satire 1 Comment »

UAE rejects US claims on Flight 201

October 30, 2010

The United Arab Emirates’ Civil Aviation Authority has rejected claims that a US-bound Emirates’ flight from Dubai contained “suspicious” parcels from Yemen.

Posted in International, Terror Scams, Yemen Cargo Bomb Comments Off on UAE rejects US claims on Flight 201

New Iscon Whole Body Scanner Now Offers Integrated Biometric Capabilities to Detect All Objects and Verify Identities

October 29, 2010

Corrections Facilities, Border Control and Airport Screening Can Leverage Iris, Facial and Fingerprint Recognition and Card Readers Without Radiation or Privacy Issues

Posted in Privacy, Technology Comments Off on New Iscon Whole Body Scanner Now Offers Integrated Biometric Capabilities to Detect All Objects and Verify Identities

If You Want To Board An Airplane In America You Now Have Two Options: Let Airport Security Gawk At Your Exposed Body Or Let Airport Security Feel You Up

October 29, 2010

In America today, we have become so spooked by “terror threats” that now we will submit to just about anything in the name of security.

Posted in Enhanced Pat-Downs, Government, Ineffectiveness, Opinion, Privacy, Resistance Comments Off on If You Want To Board An Airplane In America You Now Have Two Options: Let Airport Security Gawk At Your Exposed Body Or Let Airport Security Feel You Up

For the First Time, the TSA Meets Resistance

October 29, 2010

In other words, people, when faced with a choice, will inevitably choose the Dick-Measuring Device over molestation? “That’s what we’re hoping for. We’re trying to get everyone into the machine.”

Posted in Enhanced Pat-Downs, Resistance Comments Off on For the First Time, the TSA Meets Resistance

Axe these useless air terror checks: British Airways chief tells Yanks to sort out security

October 28, 2010

THE boss of British Airways has called for “completely redundant” airport security checks to be scrapped.

Posted in Ineffectiveness, International, Resistance Comments Off on Axe these useless air terror checks: British Airways chief tells Yanks to sort out security

Whole-body scans begin at Philadelphia airport

October 28, 2010

The “whole body imaging” scanner has arrived at Philadelphia International Airport. Blah blah blah. But check out the backlash manifested in the article’s comments.

Posted in Rollout Comments Off on Whole-body scans begin at Philadelphia airport